Morning celery juice

This is a strange period in my life. Time is hurtling through hyperspace, and yet I am not doing enough, seeing enough, being enough. I am uncomfortable in my puffy form and unsatisfied with my after-hours life. Without my love by my side, there is a constant dark cloud hanging over my head. Every exaltation is met with a bittersweet grimace. Every fit of sadness has me aching for his comfort. It's painful and unwavering. But life marches on. And there is still so much richness in my days. 

I bought a house - what! I'm staying in it right now while I wait for tenants. It's peaceful, warm, and homey here. On my first night, the family came over and we had a picnic in the lounge with fried chicken and champagne. We drank ourselves into a warm buzz, laughing and chatting the night away. Old friends who had neglected our relationship for months. It was just as it was meant to be. The only thing missing was Kevin... After a night of good food and better company, the house emptied out and it was just me. I shut the front door and climbed upstairs to settle into my new house. And the floodgates burst. I couldn't stop crying, shoulders heaving, overcome with emotion. The stress of the last few months came raining down from my tear ducts. House buying, money, work life, dissatisfaction, the daily droll, and... loneliness. 

I don't want to sound all 'woe is me', although I'm sure it reads that way. I am incredibly grateful for the blessings in my life. Fulfilling projects at work (MJN, McD), friends who understand, a supportive family, a dog who knows when I need cuddles the most, these crisp Autumn days, warm sheepskin boots, clearing skin, clothes that make me feel great, an awesome car, and my morning celery juice.